Category Archives: Hard Grace

Linger Long…

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Linger long, my friends, in the present moment.  Don’t miss out on the blessings of a hug, a kiss or even a simple conversation.   This life is too short – our breath too fleeting – to miss the grace and beauty of our now.  Don’t worry about tomorrow’s plans.  They only distract you from the gift of today.

Tomorrow is not here nor is it promised. 

Inhale today…yes, even when it is hard to breathe…like yesterday when the heaviness was so thick and palpable.  Death and pain wielded their striking blows…2 killed in a motorcycle accident; 13 dead at the Navy Yard; 1 helicopter landing in the parking lot for yet another accident.  No answers to why but truth be told – the whys really don’t matter.  It doesn’t change what has become the “new” now. 

This – our “new” present – may have begun with tears but while we still breathe this earthly air  we can’t miss the grace and truth that remains in our agony. 

 The Lord himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged.  Deuteronomy 31:8

When anger for answers seeks to steal your breath – fight all the harder to inhale the Truth that He was here even before you were and He is here with you now.

When loneliness creeps in to steal your joy – praise all the louder that He will never leave you or forsake

When fear tries to paralyze you – move ahead in the strength only He can give. 

Father God, move the heavens for those who are hurting.  Shine your grace, your love and your comfort on the hearts of those who have lost so much – move back the darkness of the enemy that seeks cover this world in its grip.  Oh God, our hearts grieve with those who will never have another moment to hold that one who went to work and never came home.  Rise up people in their lives who will speak your Truth – bring your comfort into this situation.  Overwhelm them with your love.  May they find the strength to praise you in the midst of their pain.  May they hunger for your presence and seek you with their whole being.  Thank you Lord… that even when we cannot feel you or see you – Your Presence remains…faithful forever.  In Jesus name, I pray.  Amen.

 

A New York State of Heart…

Just a few days back home and my heart remembers… 

 

In a city that never sleeps there are too many whose sleep is now endless.  Only pools gather where our tears remain – where the waters fall deep into the abyss of forever.

 

 

Lessons learned in minutes can hang secure on walls and ceilings.

 

 

Teamwork accomplishes much when numbers may equal only a few.

 

 

Devastation here is more often behind closed doors where basements flooded and life floated.  Now, the slow process of beginning again hangs with each piece of drywall.

 

Please pray for Gus who is waiting patiently for his home to be finished and for the many just like him who are living in the after effects of Superstorm Sandy. 

 

Feeding of Faith

 

Remember the wonders he has done, his miracles and the judgements he pronounced. 

Psalm 105:5

 

 

They crack crisp under my feet.  These fallen leaves from glory high lay as a reminder of passing time.  I don’t know if I necessarily need a reminder for as much as these dry leaves break brittle under feet, my cracking joints sing similar songs.

Yet, wanted or not, they remind.  Speak volumes of the fleeting moments that make up our lives.  Minutes that together form seasons bringing forth life and death.  Seasons that wax and wane with a rhythm so familiar and yet each a mystery we wait to unfold. 

 

 

Faith, my friend, walks to destinations unknown.  It moves in the waiting.  It is a seeking anticipation.  Not a life deferred.   When the seasons change our living we must strive to look beyond the ebb.  We must gather our remembrances of grace that once was and take it as manna into our wandering. 

A feeding of faith for the journey ahead and at its table today I gather to give thanks.  For all that was…for all that is…for all that is to come.   

Gratitude is born in hearts that take time to count up past mercies.  – Charles Edward Jefferson

Redemption Still Comes

 

I don’t want to find myself here – again – but that is just where I am.  I am sitting with my regret wanting to give up.  I keep trying not to do this and yet, I do it – over and over again.  It taunts and tears at me until I feel like I have nothing left to fight with and I crumble under its weight.

She, too, lived a broken life.  A life crushed by the weight of bad choices and weak faith.  On this night, she came with little more than a scarred reputation and an alabaster jar.  She knew the ridicule she would encounter when she entered the room.  It was hers to live every day with these people.

Yet, she came. 

She came now because she wanted to know the depth and breadth of a love far greater than their whispers could ever reach.  She came with a boldness that was birthed from pain.  She came with a faith alive and willing to pour out.  She came broken and ready to love with abandon the One who gave her the only thing worth having – redemption. 

Mine has been a faith that settled for far too less – one that whimpered more of my lack than His strength.  I have come carrying far more than I should because I haven’t believed that He can and will.  This is the life that has been mine, not the life that should be His.

Broken and crumbled, I beg at His feet for the faith to believe beyond what I do.  For a faith that trusts beyond the “what if” and has strength surpassing the “I can’t”.  

It is what He has wanted all along – a broken realization that I cannot and that I have not.  But a hope that He will. 

Her tears were the cleansing of grace overflowing.  Her alabaster jar briefly held the treasure of a faith now grasped and its fragrance of mercy now permeated the air.

Redemption came and in peace she went.

Failure seeks to break me. 

He wants transform the me that is broken. 

Redemption still comes – just as I am.

 

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How to Begin Again

The sun has yet to rise this morning but the dog is stirring.  I should get up and let her out but I lie here not yet ready to have my feet hit the floor.

Some days are hard to start.  Especially when the starting is admitting once again that the habit I had wanted to begin yesterday will need to begin today.

 I tried yesterday.  I failed yesterday.  Here and now I lie comfortably in my dilemma. 

In the dark not all things are quiet.

The Spirit begins to whisper.  “What you have planned is a good thing but is it the right thing?

Like David who had it in his heart to build a temple for the Ark of the Covenant, I hold in my heart good intentions.   

In his heart man plan his course but the LORD establishes his steps.   Proverbs 16:9 NIV

Good intentions are not always God intentions. 

The prophet Nathan had to tell David He was not the one who would build the temple.   I may not have a Nathan but the Word speaks with clarity.

Commit to the Lord whatever you do, and your plans will succeed.  Proverbs 16:3 NIV

Begin here with Him.  It is where it all began and where it all begins again.

Trust God from the bottom of your heart; don’t try to figure out everything on your own.  Listen for God’s voice in everything and everywhere you go; he’s the one who will keep you on track.  Don’t assume that you know it all.  Proverbs 3:5-7 The Message

This day – this very special day – the dog stirs my body awake and the Spirit, likewise, my heart. 

Feet slowly hit the floor but only to pause before falling to knees. 

This is how to begin again.

 

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