I have said it often (and you probably have too), “I just don’t have enough time.”  Finding myself feeling tapped out and overwhelmed.  Drowning in a list of to-do’s that only seems to get longer.  

Still and yet, we have all the time there is. 

All of it.

Our lack is not found in its fullness but rather in our living off balance.  In a world of excess, it is easy to get lost and distracted.  Commercials lull us into thinking we need more or better than what we already have.  Even though our already is doing just fine.  We think we need to engage in a plethora of extracurricular activities (have you seen an average child’s schedule lately) and spend time racing from one activity to another.  We indulge our senses before we engage our hearts.  We accumulate and carry the baggage of unnecessary things until we are living for them.  The gods we make for ourselves demand more adoration than we have time to give and yet, we give it.

Then, slowly, life ebbs from the deeper places.  Work becomes drudgery.  Family becomes dull and inconvenient.  Friends fall away.  Our soul turns dry.  We look at others and deem their lives better.  We think co-workers do less while we are overwhelmed.  We think family members don’t get it or worse yet, they don’t care.  We look at others when we need to look at ourselves.  Life becomes all about what we do not have and nothing about what we do.

Yet, what we do not bring into our lives, our lives cannot possibly give us.   When we spend more time seeking things to fill our lack we become superficial in our quest.  Life is lived in the deep end. 

We will find a perspective far beyond ourselves, when we find the strength to deal with who we are, where we are and why we are.  If we spend our time looking for the golden ring we will miss the treasures we have already in our possession.  God is in the midst of it all and when we say we do not have enough, we doubt and discount the provision He gives.

If we bring ourselves fully into the current moment and become attentive to what the now in our midst is unfolding, we will come to see what we could not before. 

The more of life isn’t the needed part.

He is.

When we can see God in what we have and even in what we do not have, we can reflect more deeply and welcome what is rather than long for what is not.  When we can see Him in who we are at this very moment, we can find a balance between His perspective and the torrents of our emotions and desires. 

We are caretakers of this life and we have been given all we need for this very moment – all things and all time. 

May we learn not to wander in search of the more but rather, savor the beauty that already exists.

The furnace gently whirs in the background warming the room and lulling the senses.  Its soft white noise soothes this moment quiet.  The muted glow of a single lamp falls gently across my lap as I wait for my world to awaken.

It has been a long morning – one of those that started well before daylight and lingers an eternity.  This first real “cold” morning of the season blows frigid outside my windows and I am caught between.

This is the week of Thanksgiving.  We have named it so and dance around it with parades, football, turkeys and pies.  We have filled it to the brim with food, family and fun but leave little room for grace and gratitude. We hunger for more and miss the treasures we already hold.

So here I sit watching the last few leaves fall from limbs stripped bare and ponder this truth.  This season has barely begun and I have far too quickly forgotten what has just ended.  The multicolored beauty so quickly overlooked and woefully, lost for eternity.  I struggle with transient nature of this world – the revolving door where graces walk in and graces walk out.

I don’t want to forget a moment and yet, I feel like I forget them all.

They are lost in the worry and the rush.  They are tossed aside for the things more pressing.  They are drowned out by that which howls louder.  Their gentle presence comes and goes with barely a notice and yet, I am wanting for it.

So now, in this present moment the words of St. Jerome echo long into my soul, “Begin to be now what you will be hereafter.”

Begin now.

The grace of this present moment will not tarry and I cannot hold what I do not to see or hear.

Begin now.

And, so I do.  Begin now to welcome in the graces and give gratitude before all else – before the incessant chatter of empty words; before the impatient demands of this harried world and before they vanish unnoticed. It seems fitting this week of Thanksgiving to hunger for what I already have and give thanks for all that already is.

“Lord, give me an open heart to find You everywhere, to glimpse the heaven enfolded in a bud, and to experience eternity in the smallest act of love.

Mother Teresa