I am amazed at how many of those who attended Allume have found words so quickly. Mine haven’t been easy or free flowing but then, my heart and my writing tend to simmer long.
I am envious of those who spring so freely. Who can walk into a crowd and initiate conversation. Who never seem to know a stranger and can see a blog post in most any activity. Yet this brooding, quiet spirit is the one I have been given. So, I stretch in baby steps – a captive conversation at dinner or a brief interaction before a session begins – awkward at best and uncomfortable at worst but attempted nonetheless.
Last year my Relevant experience was traumatic. Walking into the first dinner late felt like being the new girl in school who is trying to figure out what table to sit at during lunch. I didn’t know anyone. I didn’t know much about blogging, either. This year I still didn’t know anyone (really) and only a tad bit more of blogging. I joked before this conference that I hoped someone would have a spatula to pry this wallflower from the wall.
I may have joked but it was the truth. I knew that the introverted part of me would stick like wallpaper paste to the fringes. Soaking in the clamor but only occasionally engaging the masses. Prayerfully I wondered why I was here and sought to glean what He spoke.
Therein lies the beauty of Allume.
He does speak through vessels willing to be His voice – those who allow grace to flow in and through them. Snippets of encouragement came from every direction and not always from behind a podium but in the elevator – around the table – in the prayer room.
Their whispers danced in the air. Soft and billowing they passed through my heart. Some latched on like a bramble and cut deep into my soul.
You have to bury your fear in faith otherwise you bury your talents – Ann Voskamp
If God is calling you to do something you can only fail by disobedience – Logan Wolfram
When you compare yourself – compare yourself to where you began, not to where others are – Darren Rowse
There in the prickly truths I understand. I may be a wallflower in the scheme of this world but my Creator beckons with hand outstretched to dance this dance of life with Him. His hand is the one I wish to grab. His lead is the one I wish to follow.
Wallflowers should dance but first we must leave the wall.